‘Extreme Optimist’ Lil Jon Says Ex-Wife’s ‘Pessimism’ and Constant ‘Walking on Eggshells’ Led to Divorce

Lil Jon tracks his rise from the Atlanta club scene to the “Kind of Crunk” title, his meditation journey and family conflicts in his recently released memoir, I Only Shout So You Can Hear Me. One of the difficult subjects the 55-year-old “Get Low” rapper takes on in the book is the end of his 18-year marriage to ex-wife Nicole Smith.

“I couldn’t really say anything that made me happy,” he said he realized when he turned 50 on this week’s episode of the Angie Martinez IRL podcast. “And I said, ‘I need to find my happiness. And I decided I wanted a divorce because I was like, ‘I’m tired of walking on eggshells.’”

Jon — born Jonathan H. Smith — added that he considers himself to be an “extreme optimist,” while he depicted his ex as an “extreme pessimist,” which made him realize why they argued so much. He said he began to understand that the couple “never see things on the same page” and had totally opposite ways of thinking, leading to constant tension.

“There’s no amount of therapy is gonna change that,” he told Martinez. “Because it’s the way we are wired. So those things made me just say, ‘I want a divorce. I want to change.’”

So, after nearly two decades together, the couple who shared late son Nathan Smith — who died in an accidental drowning in February of this year at 27 — went their separate ways. Jon writes in the book about how, ironically, the grueling schedule of life as a touring musician may have prolonged what was already a bad-fit marriage for him. “If I was there working the nine-to-five and home every day it probably would have ended … years before that”; Jon and his current partner, TV personality Jamila Sozahdah, welcomed a daughter in November 2024.

Jon also said that during the divorce he didn’t like the angry thoughts he was having and realized he was not properly taking his ex’s feelings into account. “I had to check myself and say, ‘wow, that’s not right,’” he said. “Like you have to have some consideration for what she’s going through.” That’s when he decided to have a more positive mindset and began a practice of saying his daily affirmations in a copper pyramid on his patio deck and drinking ginger tea, which led to him releasing his least crunk project to date, 2024’s guided meditation album Total Meditation.

Click here to listen to Lil Jon on the IRL podcast (divorce talks begins at 6:30 mark).